this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
