He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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