go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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