as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
