that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
