Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
