She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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