Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize