he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
