My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize