Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
