shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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