Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
