My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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