how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
