There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
