I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
