Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
