Plan B is the new Plan A
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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