I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
