Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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