my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize