I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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