No awkward lesbian experiences without me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
