If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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