I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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