Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
