i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
