And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
