bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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