oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize