I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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