I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
