She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize