I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize