He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
