i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
