My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
