Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
