i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
