OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
