the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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