ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
