Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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