I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
