she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
