Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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