I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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