Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
