I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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