Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
