I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
