So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
