I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
