I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
