i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Bring me that man meat
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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